Ferengi Rules of Acquisition

From Memory Alpha, the free Star Trek reference.

A bound copy of the Rules of Acquisition.

The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition were a numbered series of aphorisms, guidelines, and principles that provided the foundation of business philosophy in Ferengi culture. In the mid-22nd century there were 173 rules, but by the 24th century there were 285. Commentaries existed for the Rules. (ENT: "Acquisition", DS9: "Rules of Acquisition")

There was also a short-lived revised edition of the Rules written by Grand Nagus Zek after having his state of mind changed by the Bajoran Prophets. These rules were almost complete opposites of the original rules and promoted honesty and charity. After Zek recovered, he ordered all copies of the new rules to be destroyed. (DS9: "Prophet Motive")

1 Official Rules
2 Unofficial Rules
3 Notes
4 Apocrypha
5 Appendices

[edit] Official Rules

Number	Rule	Source
1	Once you have their money, you never give it back.	DS9: "The Nagus", "Heart of Stone"
3	Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.	DS9: "The Maquis, Part II"
6	Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.^[1]	DS9: "The Nagus"
7	Keep your ears open.	DS9: "In the Hands of the Prophets"
9	Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.	DS9: "The Storyteller"
10	Greed is eternal.	DS9: "Prophet Motive"; VOY: "False Profits"
16	A deal is a deal.	DS9: "Melora"
17	A contract is a contract is a contract... but only between Ferengi.	DS9: "Body Parts"
18	A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.	DS9: "Heart of Stone"
21	Never place friendship above profit.	DS9: "Rules of Acquisition"
22	A wise man can hear profit in the wind.	DS9: "Rules of Acquisition"
23	Nothing is more important than your health... except for your money.	ENT: "Acquisition"
31	Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother.^[2]	DS9: "The Siege"
33	It never hurts to suck up to the boss.^[3]	DS9: "Rules of Acquisition", "The Dogs of War"
34	War is good for business... only from a distance, the closer to the front lines, the less profitable it gets.	DS9: "Destiny", "The Siege of AR-558"
35	Peace is good for business.^[4]	TNG: "The Perfect Mate"; DS9: "Destiny"
45	Expand or die.^[5]	ENT: "Acquisition"
47	Never trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.	DS9: "Rivals"
48	The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.	DS9: "Rules of Acquisition"
57	Good customers are as rare as latinum. Treasure them.	DS9: "Armageddon Game"
59	Free advice is seldom cheap.	DS9: "Rules of Acquisition"
62	The riskier the road, the greater the profit.	DS9: "Rules of Acquisition", "Little Green Men"
74	Knowledge equals profit.	VOY: "Inside Man"
75	Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.	DS9: "Civil Defense"
76	Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.	DS9: "The Homecoming"
94	Females and finances don't mix.	DS9: "Ferengi Love Songs", "Profit and Lace"
95	Expand or die.	VOY: "False Profits"; ENT: "Acquisition"^[5]
98	Every man has his price.	DS9: "In the Pale Moonlight"
102	Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.	DS9: "The Jem'Hadar"
103	Sleep can interfere with your lust for latinum.^[6]	DS9: "Rules of Acquisition"
109	Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.	DS9: "Rivals"
111	Treat people in your debt like family... exploit them.	DS9: "Past Tense, Part I", "The Darkness and the Light"
112	Never have sex with the boss's sister.	DS9: "Playing God"
125	You can't make a deal if you're dead.	DS9: "The Siege of AR-558"
139	Wives serve, brothers inherit.	DS9: "Necessary Evil"
168	Whisper your way to success.	DS9: "Treachery, Faith and the Great River"
-	A man is only worth the sum of his possessions.^[7]	ENT: "Acquisition"
190	Hear all, trust nothing.	DS9: "Call to Arms"
194	It's always good to know about new customers before they walk in your door.	DS9: "Whispers"
203	New customers are like razor-toothed gree worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.	DS9: "Little Green Men"
208	Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.	DS9: "Ferengi Love Songs"
211	Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.	DS9: "Bar Association"
214	Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach.	DS9: "The Maquis, Part I"
217	You can't free a fish from water.	DS9: "Past Tense, Part I"
229	Latinum lasts longer than lust.	DS9: "Ferengi Love Songs"
239	Never be afraid to mislabel a product.	DS9: "Body Parts"
263	Never let doubt interfere with your lust for latinum.	DS9: "Bar Association"
285	No good deed ever goes unpunished.	DS9: "The Collaborator", "The Sound of Her Voice"

[edit] Unofficial Rules

The following sayings were either not given a number, not explicitly stated to be a Rule, or were not part of the generally-accepted canon by the Ferengi Commerce Authority.

Number	Rule	Source
142	Only fools sell wholesale.	(See Rule #141)
286	When Morn leaves, it's all over.	DS9: "The House of Quark"
299	After you've exploited someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it's easier to exploit them next time.^[8]	VOY: "False Profits"
—	Exploitation begins at home.	VOY: "False Profits"
(The unwritten rule)	When no appropriate rule applies, make one up.	VOY: "False Profits"
—	When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits... kill the messenger.	VOY: "False Profits"
—	Time, like latinum, is a highly limited commodity.	DS9: "Bar Association"
—	Always inspect the merchandise before making a deal.^[9]	DS9: "The Abandoned"
—	Money is money, but females are better.^[10]	DS9: "Life Support"
—	Why ask, when you can take?^[11]	DS9: "Babel"
—	A good lie is easier to believe than the truth.^[12]	VOY: "Shattered"

[edit] Notes

↑ As late as 2151 the rule was quoted as being slightly different. "Never allow family to stand in the way of profit" (where profit replaces opportunity). (ENT: "Acquisition")
↑ Legends of the Ferengi concludes Rule #31 with "...insult something he cares about instead."
↑ Brunt stated a variation of this Rule (without referring to it by number) with: "It's never too early to suck up to the boss".
↑ Although spoken before the production staff's creation of the Rules of Acquisition, Par Lenor stated something quite similar to this rule: "Peace is good for trade... unless you happen to be an arms merchant!"
↑ ^5.0 ^5.1 Rule of Acquisition #95 was quoted as Rule #45 in ENT: "Acquisition". It might be possible though, that in the roughly 200 years between the two episodes, the arrangement of the Rules of Acquisition slightly changed. Alternatively, it may have been decided that the rule bears repeating.
↑ This rule was interrupted before it could be finished.
↑ Though not given a number, this rule was clearly official, among the first 173, and considered "the most important one" by Krem
↑ May be a purely fictional rule, as it was quoted by Neelix, who had no previous contact with Ferengi, and it did not exist by the time the target Ferengi became stranded in the Delta Quadrant
↑ Not quoted word for word, but when Sisko asks if such a rule exists, Quark acknowledges that there is. Quark may be referring to Rule 218.
↑ A personal rule quoted by Nog.
↑ As told to Odo by Quark when the latter illegally uses replicators in empty crew quarters. He seems to have been paraphrasing Rule 52.
↑ This un-numbered "rule"'s provenance derives merely from Janeway quoting it as something "the Ferengi say". It may not, therefore, be a genuine Rule.

[edit] Apocrypha

The following rules are derived from non-canon sources:

Number	Rule	Source
2	Money is everything.	Strange New Worlds 9
8	Small print leads to large risk.	Legends of the Ferengi
13	Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.	Legends of the Ferengi
19	Satisfaction is not guaranteed.	Legends of the Ferengi
27	There is nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.	Legends of the Ferengi
40	She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum.	Legends of the Ferengi
41	Profit is its own reward.	Legends of the Ferengi
44	Never confuse wisdom with luck.	Legends of the Ferengi
52	Never ask when you can take.	Legends of the Ferengi
58	There is no substitute for success.	Legends of the Ferengi
60	Keep your lies consistent.	Legends of the Ferengi
65	Win or lose, there's always Hupyrian beetle snuff.	Legends of the Ferengi
79	Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.	Legends of the Ferengi
82	The flimsier the product, the higher the price.	Legends of the Ferengi
85	Never let the competition know what you're thinking.	Legends of the Ferengi
89	Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.	Legends of the Ferengi
97	Enough... is never enough.	Legends of the Ferengi
99	Trust is the biggest liability of all.	Legends of the Ferengi
104	Faith moves mountains... of inventory.	Legends of the Ferengi
106	There is no honor in poverty.	Legends of the Ferengi
113	Always have sex with the boss.	Legends of the Ferengi
121	Everything is for sale, even friendship.	Legends of the Ferengi
123	Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.	Legends of the Ferengi
141	Only fools pay retail.	Legends of the Ferengi
144	There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket.	Legends of the Ferengi
167	Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.	Legends of the Ferengi
189	Let others keep their reputation. You keep their latinum.	Legends of the Ferengi
192	Never cheat a Klingon... unless you can get away with it.	Legends of the Ferengi
202	The justification for profit is profit.	Legends of the Ferengi
218	Always know what you're buying.	Legends of the Ferengi
218	Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much.	Malibu DS9: "Baby on Board"
223	Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.	Legends of the Ferengi
236	You can't buy fate.	Legends of the Ferengi
242	More is good. All is better.	Legends of the Ferengi
255	A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant a necessity.	Legends of the Ferengi
261	A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.	Legends of the Ferengi
266	When in doubt, lie.	Legends of the Ferengi
267	If you believe it, they believe it.	Star Trek Titan: Taking Wing
284	Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.	Legends of the Ferengi

[edit] Appendices

[edit] Background Information

The Rules of Acquisition were created at the beginning of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (beginning with "The Nagus") and were mentioned throughout the Star Trek spinoffs. While a Rule was never heard in Star Trek: The Next Generation, "Force of Nature" mentioned that the Ferengi were debating changing one of the Rules.